Bad Day

Every one has bad days right?

One things I have noticed is that a lot of my good and bad days can be influenced by how much money I have/don't have. I don't do it on purpose, I never say to myself "Well I am broke now, so I guess I cant be happy".

What does happen is... "Oh man, how am I going to make it till next pay day?" "Is this $20 really gonna last me another week" and then I find myself constantly reminded all day long that I am broke with thoughts of "I would sure like to pull into that drive thru and get something to eat oh yea I cant I am broke" or "I would love to go to your birthday party/bowling/Movies/fundraiser but I cant because... insert your excuse here that is NOT true because the truth is that you don't have money for a gift or even extra gas in the tank to make a none essential trip.

Then you think about all the things other people get to enjoy because they can afford it. All the trips, nice restaurants, hang out with their friends, go out on dates and so on and so forth.

Sometimes this gets a little overwhelming. The fact is Many of my problems have been brought on by my own choices in life. I chose to drop out of High School Jr year, I chose to marry a man I had premarital relations with and have a baby at 19. I chose to be a mother and put my dreams aside to raise my daughter. I chose to leave my abusive marriage and become a single mother.

Somethings I chose right, I chose to keep my daughter when I wanted to get rid of her (abortion) I chose to leave my abusive marriage so I could live to raise my daughter and end the cycle of abuse, I chose to live for Jesus and be obedient to His Guidance in my life. I chose to take up my cross and Follow Jesus. I chose the hard way of doing things instead of the short term quick fixes in life.

I get to choose how I am going to respond to all the things that life throws at me. Even if I cant choose what gets thrown I can choose what I throw back and if I do at all.

I can choose a way to escape my uncomfort/misfortune, or I can Choose to stay and allow it to shape me into a better person.

I can choose to react and get offended when I am hurt/scared/embarrassed/accused, or I can choose to let it go, give the benefit of the doubt, and keep quiet in the face of confrontation.

When it comes to my finances I can choose to have 2 or 3 jobs and never be around for my daughter having someone else raise her while I work so hard to make a "good" life for her, or I can learn to give her a good life and trust God that He will provide.

I choose to believe that if I catch on to my Passion and continue to put actions behind it. God will bless me and take care of my needs. I may never have everything I want, but I will never lack something I need. The more Jesus I have the less I need from the world.

I can choose to believe that whatever I have given up (sin, friends, pleasures, resources, time, opportunites, relationships) for God, will benefit me here, now, later and forever, seen and unseen. God knows whats best and even if it looks like everyone else is having more fun than I am I have got to keep running my race wich is going to be different than everyone elses.

Things may be hard right now but that doesnt mean they will always be this hard in this way. They might be less hard in a more complicated way later for all I know. I have to keep hope alive that if I am faithful, diligent, hard working and close to God he will prosper me and bring me into a very blessed life.